Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
They finally caught us and banned us forever, but it was worth it because we didn't have to pay for light bulbs for at least 3 years.
So you stole light bulbs, from your favorite bar, and got banned, and you're happy?
Look we couldnt pay for light bulbs and ramen, and you can't eat light bulbs or cook in the dark. Win - win.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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