pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
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