Christians are straight up FREAKS
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
