I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Randomize
