Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Randomize
