I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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