Why are handjobs necessary in class?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Randomize
