Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
