i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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