My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Dicks are so weird. He has kind of a feminine comforter in the background.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
