can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
