Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize