My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Who wears a wallet chain?!
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
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