With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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