I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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