Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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Sorry stayclasssy hasn't picked any favorites yet.

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(785): View more from Kansas

it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..

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(815): View more from Illinois

im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.

Fav 31 4657 1486
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(636): View more from Missouri

If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies

Fav 3 1258 1764
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(631): View more from New York

I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.

Fav 6 1635 1016
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(205): View more from Alabama

WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES

Fav 15 1454 1058
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.

Fav 1 1625 669
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(319): View more from Iowa

Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??

Fav 4 850 733
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(765): View more from Indiana

I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.

Fav 2 249 309
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(303): View more from Colorado

Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.

Fav 0 58 13
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