She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
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