He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
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