She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
