How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
We need to rekindle our bromance
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
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