Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
