once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
either way he was missing a nipple.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Randomize
