Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I just sprawled out on my bedroom floor and cried while shoveling chocolate into my mouth.. I should not have Bacardi at home
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
Randomize
