I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Randomize
