I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Randomize
