Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
we're so committed to being not committed
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
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