if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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