dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
