Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Randomize
