I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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