she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
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