Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
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