Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
