Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I swear to God, I saw my life flash between my legs.
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
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