His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
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