ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
