no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Randomize
