On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
My vagina is officially offended.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize