So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
