Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
