I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
You know the @ sign on twitter? i wish there was one of those in real life so that the smokin' hot guy at the bar would know the slutty unbuttoning of my shirt was directed @ him, not @ his friend who looks like Mickey Rourke post-face melting
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
definitely good. no good can come from sex in a very full public venue.
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Randomize
