Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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