it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Randomize
