I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
