Quick, to the slutcave!
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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