Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
