Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
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