dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
Randomize
