then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
He had one of those small greek statue penises
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
