FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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