yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
