In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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