Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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