How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
My feet surprised me
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