Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
