no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
