We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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